Intimidation Works, If We Let It

we are stronger together, www.baptistdeception.comI recently came across an Independent Fundamental Baptist blog that was brand new, but it seemed to be crawling with IFB supporters, getting lots of traffic and comments.  I’m not one that typically allows himself to get jealous… and that’s not really the reason I’m writing this.  Although jealousy did creep into my mind (which I think is a normal response given the fact that I’ve put years of hard work and dedication into this site) since I want the site to succeed, the biggest thought on my mind was my more typical response… curiosity.  Mainly I’m curious to know why a brand new site with a few articles that’s pro-IFB could outshine a 7 year old site with more than 50 articles that’s anti-IFB.  It just doesn’t make sense.  The laws of SEO (search engine optimization) dictate that my site should far outshine a brand new site of the same topic (the IFB).  After all the search engines don’t recognize or care if a site is pro- or anti- they just care about content.

As I sat in curious contemplation, struggling to figure it out, it finally dawned on me – actually more like hit me like a ton of bricks.  I came up with two reasons for this strange phenomenon.

Reason 1:  Fanaticism.  This blogger has fanaticism on his side.  The IFB are notorious for being fanatical about their belief system and traditions and will stop at nothing to promote them.  When a blogger springs up to vocalize his agreement with the IFB dogma, the drones flock to the site and get in line to support one another.

Someone once asked me if there is anything that I agree with the IFB about.  I would have to say this is one of them – not the fanaticism/drone part, but the support and community aspect.  I can honestly say that there was never a time in my life where I ever experienced such a sense of community and support – that is until I left.  Which leads me to the second reason…

Reason 2:  Effects of Abuse.  I’ve lost count of the number of private email messages I’ve received expressing a heartfelt thanks for the site and/or sharing tremendous pain associated with life in the IFB yet at the same time asking to remain anonymous.

IFBites are taught not to listen to their critics so anyone that’s been in the IFB and left develops a strong sense of abandonment as their friends (and sometimes family) abandon and shun them.  After all if you aren’t part of the IFB you are considered a critic and an enemy.  Any and all attempts to explain why they left or to re-establish relationships outside the IFB is met with heavy resistance.  Once that sense of abandonment sets in, the loss is so great that the escapee does anything to keep from further experiencing such painful emotions and thus remains silent. Fear of further contempt from friends and family keeps people reading in silence then quietly moving on so as to keep from re-experiencing more abuse at the hands of the IFB.

The escapee also may be attacked for leaving the IFB and bullied (like I am on a consistent basis because of this site) or at least fear attack and bullying.  As a result they simply lose their drive/motivation to speak out.  So they suffer through their Spiritual Abuse in silence.

As a result of these two reasons I’ve determined that visitors to the site (which number in the thousands each month) simply read and then click away declining to get involved because of their fears.  Unfortunately this sends the message to those in the IFB that their intimidation tactics work.

I can fully understand reason number 2 and I honestly feel the same way.  I’ve been able to step outside my comfort zone to bring the world this website, but beyond that I have to admit that reason number 2 still affects me.  This brings us to a third reason – our differences in being vocal.

Because of reasons number 1 and 2 above, the pro-IFB blogger is more at ease at vocalizing his thoughts and sharing his site.  He probably talks about it at church and promotes it on facebook.  He is in a much better position, unfortunately, to openly recruit more readers and site visitors.

I still have trouble sharing this site with friends and family as a result of reason number 2 and that’s to my shame.  I publicly apologize for that.  I’m happy to be a voice in this format for those who don’t yet have a voice or are too fearful to raise their voice.  I’m also happy to bear the brunt of the bullying and abuse as a result of this site.  But that doesn’t make it any easier to have the people who I used to go to church/school with (friends and family) know that this site exists.

But, I would like to publicly declare that I will be trying to do more to break past the fears I have and be more vocal about this site.  I ask that you, the visitor, be willing to as well – when you are ready of course.

A Call To Action

We must not be silent and allow these bullies to have a stronger voice.  When we do that we tell them that their bullying and intimidation is effective.  Standing up to bullies is a sure way to make them stop, but I can’t do it alone.  I’m asking for as much help as you are willing to give.  Just contact me and let me know what you can do or simply post a link to the site on FB or share with a friend or share your story with us or write an article.  Whatever you can do, even if it’s just something little, will help.

In the near future I will be posting some emails that I’ve received with bullying tactics trying to keep me silent.  I hope that it will help balance the fight for the welfare of all the victims of this dangerous cultish denomination.


  1. Infancy in Christ is a problem in the ifb. They follow the Pastor not Jesus. 1 corinthians 3.Mere rules taught by men. Home schooling taught as it were biblical. If they really are following after biblical truth, why can’t they explain their unbiblical traditions. Husbands love your wives a Christ love the church. Do the pastors and deacons do that? When people leave they couldn’t care. Says it all. It is about their works. Salvation is by grace through faith. NOT by works.

  2. “Our doctrines are true because the Pastor said so.”, says the IFB cultist.

  3. Nett I just left a church where the pastor would use Hebrews 10:25 the same way you are. He however would use it almost ever sermon he preached. I confronted him about this along with some other problems I saw. To make a long story short the man ripped the church apart. I,another decon,and another family ended up leaving this church due to excessive legalism. That is where Heb 10:25 being understood as “don’t miss church ” will take you. If you don’t have any understanding of how to translate the original text (the Greek New Testament) in it’s historical context please do a google search there is plenty of material on the misuse of this verse. I hope this will help you in your study of Gods word. Blessings to you.

  4. Hello. I’m an IFB, but I’ve not experience spiritual abuse as some have described. To God be the glory for that! Any one can be blinded, but I chose to check matters with God’s word and talk to the Lord for clear wisdom about things that just don’t fit. Does the term “drop out of the church scene” mean you aren’t joining fellow believers anywhere to worship at all, or that you’re no longer involved with IFB churches? Hopefully you trust the Lord’s grace to be sufficient for you and began a healing process. Seek the Lord for where He’ll have you be and search matters out as His word teaches us. Remember, he commands believers to join together in worship and support one another. I don’t pray as often as I should about the matter of God protecting me from being destroyed with a fallen church, but even with 13yrs coming up of being at the same place, I’d be ready to go if the Lord so leads! (CEV) Hebrews 10:25 Some people have gotten out of the habit of meeting for worship, but we must not do that. We should keep on encouraging each other, especially since you know that the day of the Lord’s coming is getting closer. (AMP)Hebrews 10:25
    Not forsaking or neglecting to assemble together [as believers], as is the habit of some people, but admonishing (warning, urging, and encouraging) one another, and all the more faithfully as you see the day approaching. Thanks a bunch for reading!

  5. “Standing up to bullies is a sure way to make them stop, but I can’t do it alone.” Dear Steve, thankyou very much for this site. May the Lord comfort you and strengthen you, and help you to stand firm in the liberty we have in Christ. p.s. I’m an ex-IFBer who has also survived spiritual abuse in the mainstream church scene. These days, the only meaningful fellowship I get is with another ex-IFBer who has also dropped out of the “church scene”. I hope this helps.

  6. “The IFB are notorious for being fanatical about their belief system and traditions and will stop at nothing to promote them….IFBites are taught not to listen to their critics so anyone that’s been in the IFB and left develops a strong sense of abandonment as their friends (and sometimes family) abandon and shun them. After all if you aren’t part of the IFB you are considered a critic and an enemy.”

    Wow! Those statements are very true. The IFB is very fanatical about whatever they believe whether it is actually something Biblical or just an IFB tradition that has been adopted at some point in time. Because of those fanatical tendencies, they don’t listen to anyone who does not agree with them. This is a great article. Thanks for posting it.

    1. They are the only ones that have the truth, that’s why they don’t have to listen to anyone, and I also believe that’s why you consistently see them acting very nasty to others that question their beliefs. They are like, “Hey, I’m on the right side, God’s side, so I can act anyway I want! Seldom does one come across an IFB that exhibits what I consider to be a humble spirit motivated by love!

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